Attentive relations

He has a sense of humour. He is kind and soft. He is reliable and worthy trust. With him it is good. She - very sensitive. She - the strong and unusual person. She gentle and understanding. These sets of personal qualities, besides external appeal and security, name men and women, describing the partners (partners) or explaining the choice of the elect (darling) more often. In the people about such steams often speak: "They are created for each other". And still the basic precondition to remarkable relations is balance of feelings and reason. Before to grow fond of another, it is very important to learn to love, to trust in itself, to be happy with itself. Love - not a box of chocolates.

Between extreme to displays of feelings, such as laughter and tears, the person distinguishes thousand intermediate emotional conditions. Energy flows in the world of thoughts and emotions in the same way, as in the physical world. The question only in how to operate this stream of energy in itself. Feelings concern fundamental psychological processes; they arise at various levels and in different scales. Some feelings, such, as hope, satisfaction, pleasure, etc., allow energy to proceed free. Wines, affliction, a rage on the contrary, block an energy current, and sometimes even exhaust it, weakening the person. Such unbalanced kinds of energy play the big role in complication, infringement and even destruction of relations. Some of negative emotions are simple, other more difficult.

To the basic (elementary) negative emotions traditionally carry a rage, euphoria, experience, affliction and fear. In a combination to attachment, misunderstanding and erroneous perception they can turn to such more difficult emotional forms, as envy, roughness, jealousy, contempt, evil intention, etc. Similar emotions dry up an energy stream, block it, and it affects both on health, and relations. To resist to negative emotions, it is necessary to agree in the beginning that is the phenomena with which it is necessary for us to learn to struggle, and then to release, forget them.

The first, that it is necessary to make, is to realise their existence; then it is necessary to accept negative emotions, to recognise their existence; the third step - to pay to them attention, to observe of them, to analyze, trying to understand their nature. Probably, to speak about it is easier, than to make; but if you begin with the first step, regularly moving ahead to the following, will find out what to learn it absolutely simply.

Soon you are personally convinced that these emotions - only the illusions which do not have under self any real bases, is simple conglomerates of reactions. All more clearly distinguishing a ball of feelings disappearing under these emotions, you will simultaneously untangle it, and finally it will disappear, as if a fog in the solar morning. Any strong and good relations begin with each of partners. Only internally counterbalanced person is capable to establish good relations with others. Before to achieve external balance an In and a Jan everyone of us should provide in the beginning internal balance an In and a Jan.

Only having learnt to love, we can grow fond of the partner or other person. Hence, it is the extremely important, that all of us could open balance and happiness first of all in themselves. However, as they say in the Bible, all of us we come to this world in a sin (or, according to Buddhists, we come to expiate the charma). The debalance arises already from the moment of our birth as the counterbalanced reason does not arise from anything, he is created by internal work.

We should overcome difficulties, to study to distinguish them and more effectively to struggle with them. It is quite often possible to hear, how quarrelling reproach each other: "That you are angry?" And in the answer, it is angry: "It I am angry?!" Here to you an example of, how people sometimes at all do not realise the emotional condition and even if to specify to them in it, it will be hard to them to recognise it.

Only having realised the emotional condition, recognising it, the person can pay attention to process of thinking. However already one it it appears enough gradually to come to understanding of that similar emotional conditions are deprived any positive sides, but promise many troubles. And already at this stage of comprehension the person appears is ready to refuse revolting emotional conditions gradually. Principal views of emotional reactions arise as reaction of our six sense organs to the information arriving from the outside.

The information arrives inside; emotions leave outside. Emotions cannot be hidden, and nobody will manage to pretend, as if it is absolutely deprived emotions. Many people fall ill only because, perceiving negative energy, try to constrain inside the reaction to it. It can lead to a cancer or other diseases. It is necessary to allow for emotions to leave freely outside, but one it insufficiently - the attention and comprehension is necessary still. Without attention and comprehension you will be doomed to constant repetition or restraint of emotions, or their liberation. But after all emotions like a rage or fear arise not without the reason and consequently thanks to comprehension we can see these reasons and try to change our relation to them.

From the Buddhism point of view any sufferings arise from attachment, and attachment is formed of the ignorance which are not allowing the person to see the real nature of things. Is better to be able to see through an ignorance and attachment interlacing and consequently, to manage to untie this Gordian knot. Being able to distinguish a debalance as that, we, being able not define a situation at all, led to loss of emotional balance, nevertheless are capable to change them. For this purpose there are the special methods which are not demanding for the full decision a problem of any supernatural insight.

What for to take offence at a mirror?

Recently has read in a blog at Janey Godley:
Never ask ‘ What are you thinking? ”in case your man does in fact start to tell you. Most men have nothing in their head and just make stuff up like invading Daleks, stories about evil marmosets, sea monkeys and Premier league football...

Simply on one breath there was this post:

Happens so, that one person addresses to another simply to communicate. Naturally, he counts on attention and though there is some warm-heartedness. This quite lawful wish. However, as is known, each person-only a mirror of other person. And those reactions which he can receive from this another, are reflexion of its own inwardness during some moment of time (not necessarily here and now, it is possible in the past).
As a rule, people or do not know about it, or do not wish to take it into consideration. Also that turns out: the person addresses to another with all soul, and in the answer receives... As a result he naturally takes offence at this person. In vain. Unless it is possible to take offence at a mirror if you in it see not that would like?

The best exit from such situations is the best input (pun). If you once and for all get rid of excessive gravity of perception as yourselves, and interlocutors, will not expect in advance from them something, and will accept as there is, everything, that proceeds from the interlocutor, without division into categories "badly-well" you will be comprehended never by disappointment from not justified expectations.

Each person - is a mirror for another
Change itself and the World will change around you