How to "reach" to the interlocutor

To be truthful, opened, fair with itself - one; and how we communicate as we inform the interlocutor, often appears absolutely another. In any relations always there will be those things which like us, and what do not like us. Accurately to tell that we love that does not contradict us, so important, as simply.

The real problem arises when it is necessary to start conversation that we do not love, or about with what we disagree. Some from these unpleasant things can be not such important, but all the same it is absolutely necessary to realise clearly that these things exist, and at the same time to understand, that they really are not important. Without such understanding we risk unconsciously to project lowlevel irritation each time when speech about these things unpleasant to us will go. On the other hand, if we understand, that it is not of great importance, instead of unconscious irritation we will radiate around clearness and the consent to accept small troubles as a reality.

Certainly, there are moments when we need to be explained accurately and clearly concerning really serious difficulties. Enamoured often try to create the whole schemes and strategy of how to inform these thoughts to the partner, but any game plans, any strategy of love and so forth will be successful only some time concerning the limited purposes, and each of these dodges will have the price which should be paid.

If you do not like that is pleasant to another, you can, of course, try to leave the feelings in yourselves; but as the human body represents open system to which concepts "inside" and "outside" are inapplicable, your efforts will go to waste.

At the same time it does not mean, that it is possible to stuff the partner with the information violently and with martinets frankness.

Smoothly bent path can appear more shortly going straight highway. Do not forget, that recurrence, instead of straightforwardness is peculiar to the nature.

To fill a bucket under a small stream of a stream is easier, than in the roaring mountain river.

The information intentionally submitted in the sharp and direct form, can "not reach" the prospective addressee in whom so unequivocal way of "delivery" can cause negation, and even unwillingness to pay attention to the parcel maintenance. Or the message, having achieved the object, can be rejected back, at all not having impressed the partner. But the information submitted softly and attentively, can achieve the object still before the interlocutor will have a thought on resistance. Remember only, that a smooth line - not a curve rear entrance and that your message, as much as soft, should not lose clearness and clearness.

Such are the general recommendations. Ability to inform the thought to the interlocutor is an art, perfection in which comes with practice and experience; here much depends on partners. In any case, attentive care will always yield the fruits.

Suitable time to address and answer
Starting mutual relations, since the first courtings and finishing already settled, reliable union, it is absolutely necessary for natural rhythms to follow. Clearness of dialogue, clearness of expression and communications of fancies are, of course, important.

The timeliness question is not less important also: when to speak. Human beings - animal rhythmic, and human emotions are shown in various time tendencies. It is very important to understand these tendencies, choosing the most suitable time for a projection and for perception. If one of partners is not in an accepting mode, to another to be engaged in a projection - time and energy waste.

If one of pair - a Jan, another be an In; if one speaks, another (in an ideal) should listen. If one projects disappointment and a rage (Jan), nevertheless it will be better, if the second tries not to answer it the same way. The variant will not work a Jan-Jan, because if one pushes, another should concede him.

To concede does not mean to allow itself to destroy; to concede - means to transform resisting energy, having kept own balance.

Take a young pair: they are professionals, work on the full rate. If the husband, comes home got tired after long and difficult day and will find out, that in the house the disorder, and the supper is not present , his irritation can concentrate on the wife. Thus the wife can resist and return to the husband his anger. Result: two clots of a rage resisting each other. If the wife manages during this moment to neutralise anger of the husband, long evening of mutual reproaches will manage to be avoided. Then, after a supper when the spouse will cool down, the wife can specify it in unreasonableness and injustice of its expectations, and chances that the husband will hear the half and will agree with it, this time will be much more. Possibly, it will lay out a right moment for the wife also behind a negotiating table the cards to solve own problems.

In a symbol of Tai-Dzi a line dividing both uniting an In and a Jan, a curve, instead of a straight line. In other words, if the Jan pushes, ability to concede gives an In an impulse necessary for reciprocal action.

It is possible to measure good relations by degree of execution of expectations and desires. Human feelings are so difficult, that people often avoid attempts to put them into words in attempt to be valid and magic of these feelings. That is why often happens, that people do not wish to state the real desires. To achieve execution of unexpressed desire completely not same, what to achieve execution of the stated desire.

The love is when many words are not necessary. Sincere dialogue, a correct way of the dialogue, correctly chosen time of dialogue - all is the integral components of good relations. To overestimate value of sincere dialogue it is impossible. Truthful words possess force, they get into the depths of soul. Growing up, we study "to push speeches" as if politicians, hoping to inform the thoughts not by means of the truth, and with the help "dialogue techniques". Politicians, as well as actors, require dialogue techniques because they often only feign the truth, instead of bear its to people. And the truth possesses own energy.